You may recognize that different sides of you seem to want completely different things.

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One part wants connection, while another keeps people at a distance. One wants to slow down, while another insists that you keep achieving. You may have an inner critic who believes harshness will prevent failure, a caretaker who feels responsible for everyone, or a frightened younger part who still expects to be hurt or abandoned.

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These inner conflicts can be exhausting, but they do not mean you are broken.

Internal Family Systems therapy offers another possibility: every part of you developed for a reason, even when its current behavior causes pain.

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I provide online IFS therapy to adults and teens throughout Colorado. Together, we can approach your inner world with curiosity and compassion rather than shame, force, or judgment.

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Do You Feel at War With Yourself?

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You may know what you want but repeatedly find yourself doing something else.

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Perhaps you promise to set a boundary and then immediately feel guilty. You long for intimacy but pull away when someone gets close. You understand that you deserve rest, yet slowing down makes you anxious. You may criticize yourself for being too sensitive, too guarded, too emotional, too needy, or never quite enough.

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You might hear familiar inner messages:

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“Don’t let your guard down.”

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“You have to keep everyone happy.”

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“If you stop working, everything will fall apart.”

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“There must be something wrong with you.”

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Traditional advice may tell you to challenge, control, or eliminate these reactions. IFS therapy invites us to become curious about them.

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What is this part afraid would happen if it stopped doing its job?

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That question can begin changing your relationship with yourself.

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What Is Internal Family Systems Therapy?

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Internal Family Systems, commonly called IFS, is a compassionate and non-pathologizing approach to therapy. It recognizes that the mind naturally contains different “parts,” each with its own emotions, beliefs, memories, fears, and ways of protecting us.

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Having parts does not mean you have multiple personalities. We all experience different internal states. You might feel confident at work, frightened during conflict, playful with a trusted friend, and intensely self-critical after making a mistake.

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IFS therapy helps us slow down and understand these different internal experiences rather than allowing them to fight for control behind the scenes.

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The goal is not to eliminate parts of yourself. It is to help them feel heard, understood, and less burdened by roles they may have carried for years.

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Understanding Your Protective Parts

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Protective parts often develop during experiences when you need to find some way to survive, belong, avoid rejection, or maintain a sense of control.

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A critical part may believe that attacking you first will protect you from criticism by others.

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A perfectionistic part may work relentlessly because mistakes once felt dangerous.

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A people-pleasing part may have learned that keeping others happy was the safest way to preserve connection.

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An avoidant part may pull you away from relationships, memories, or emotions that once felt overwhelming.

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A numb or distracting part may use work, scrolling, substances, food, isolation, or constant activity to keep deeper pain outside awareness.

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These strategies may create difficulties now, but they often began as intelligent attempts to protect you.

IFS does not excuse harmful behavior or remove personal responsibility. It helps us understand what drives a reaction so that genuine choice becomes possible.

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The Parts That Carry Pain

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Beneath protective patterns, there may be younger or more vulnerable parts carrying fear, grief, loneliness, shame, or beliefs formed during painful experiences.

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These parts may still believe:

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“I am alone.”

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“It was my fault.”

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“I am too much.”

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“I am not worthy of love.”

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“I have to earn my place.”

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Protectors often work hard to keep this pain hidden. Although their strategies may be frustrating, they may fear that allowing you to contact those vulnerable feelings would overwhelm you.

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In IFS therapy, we do not push past these protectors. We build trust with them and respect their concerns. When your internal system feels safe enough, deeper healing can unfold without forcing or shaming any part of you.

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Reconnecting With Your Core Self

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IFS describes the Self as the calm, curious, compassionate, courageous, and connected center within each person.

Your Self is not something you have to earn or create. It may simply become difficult to access when protective parts are frightened, exhausted, or working overtime.

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As the intensity of those protective reactions softens, you may experience more space to respond from clarity rather than fear.

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Instead of asking, “How do I get rid of this part of myself?” you may begin asking, “What does this part need me to understand?”

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That shift can create a very different kind of relationship with yourself.

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How Can IFS Therapy Help You?

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Online IFS therapy may help with:

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Trauma and painful childhood experiences

Anxiety, fear, and chronic overthinking

Shame and persistent self-criticism

Perfectionism and over-functioning

People-pleasing and difficulty setting boundaries

Attachment wounds and fear of abandonment

Relationship patterns that repeatedly cause pain

Emotional numbness or disconnection

Grief, loss, and betrayal

Feeling stuck between competing needs

Difficulty trusting yourself

High sensitivity and emotional overwhelm

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IFS can be especially meaningful for people who understand their patterns intellectually but still feel controlled by them emotionally.

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Insight is valuable. However, knowing why you react a certain way does not always help the frightened or protective parts of you feel safe enough to change.

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What I Have Seen in My Practice

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Every person’s experience is different, and therapy cannot promise a particular outcome. Often, however, the first meaningful change is not that a difficult part disappears. It is that the person stops hating themselves for having it.

I have seen clients begin speaking to themselves with more patience and less cruelty. They may recognize that their anxiety is trying to anticipate danger, their perfectionism is trying to prevent rejection, or their anger is protecting a part that once felt powerless.

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Clients may begin noticing an internal reaction without being completely taken over by it. A critical voice can still appear, but it no longer automatically determines what happens next.

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Some become more able to set boundaries without being consumed by guilt. Others find greater freedom to rest, ask for help, receive care, or remain present during conflict.

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A person who once believed “I am the problem” may begin to understand, “A part of me learned to believe that.”

That small change in language can create significant emotional space. You are no longer defined by the reaction.

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You can become curious about it, care for it, and choose how you want to respond.

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What Happens During an Online IFS Session?

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IFS therapy is conversational, experiential, and collaborative.

We may begin with a current emotion, physical sensation, relationship difficulty, or recurring belief. I may invite you to notice where you experience it in or around your body and what you sense about the part connected to it.

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We might explore:

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What the part wants you to know

What it is trying to prevent

When it first began performing this role

How it feels toward other parts of you

What it fears would happen if it relaxed

What it needs from you now

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You will not be required to visualize parts clearly or give each one a name. Some people experience their inner world through images, while others notice thoughts, emotions, memories, sensations, impulses, or subtle shifts in energy.

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There is no correct way to experience IFS.

You remain in control of the process. We can pause, slow down, or shift direction whenever needed.

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Can IFS Therapy Work Through Telehealth?

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Yes. Internal Family Systems therapy can translate naturally to secure telehealth because much of the work involves slowing down, noticing your internal experience, and building a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Online IFS therapy allows you to participate from a familiar private space without traveling to an office. This can make specialized therapy more accessible to people living in rural communities and throughout Colorado.

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I provide telehealth therapy to adults and teens located anywhere in Colorado. We will discuss privacy, technology, emotional safety, and the environment you need to participate comfortably.

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Integrating IFS and EMDR Therapy

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IFS and EMDR can complement one another.

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IFS helps us understand and develop trust with the parts of you that protect against painful memories or emotions.

 

EMDR can help the brain and body process experiences that continue to feel unresolved.

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When appropriate, I may integrate both approaches. IFS can help us listen to the parts that feel hesitant about trauma processing, while EMDR can support the reprocessing of memories and beliefs those parts have carried.

We will decide together what approach fits your needs. Therapy is not something done to you. It is a relationship

and a process we shape collaboratively.

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My Training and Approach

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I am a Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate and have completed Level 1 training in Internal Family Systems. I am also an EMDR-trained therapist.

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My approach integrates IFS, EMDR, mindfulness, somatic awareness, creativity, humor, and self-compassion. I work with adults and teens experiencing trauma, anxiety, shame, attachment wounds, relationship difficulties, high sensitivity, and patterns that keep them feeling stuck.

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I bring curiosity and cultural humility to our work. Your parts did not develop in isolation; family, culture, identity, relationships, ancestry, and lived experience all shape how we learn to survive and belong.

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You will not be treated as a diagnosis or collection of symptoms. Every part of you is welcome in the room.

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Begin Online IFS Therapy in Colorado

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You do not have to silence, shame, or overpower parts of yourself to heal.

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The reactions that frustrate you may carry important information about what you have survived, what you fear, and what you still need. With support, you can begin meeting those parts with curiosity, compassion, and greater confidence in your ability to lead your own life.

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If you are looking for an IFS Level 1-trained therapist providing online Internal Family Systems therapy across Colorado, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

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We can discuss what brings you to therapy, answer your questions, and determine whether working together feels like the right fit.